A cat pee kind of day.

I got home late last night from a super rad evening of music and spoken word (thanks Gray Skies Reading Series) and noticed a sour, gross smell in my office as I was checking my email. I thought maybe it was my own sweat I was smelling, which has a disgusting cat pee aroma when I drink too much coffee. Sorry. TMI.

I was guilty of drinking too much coffee yesterday, so I went to bed and hoped the smell would go away during the night.

This morning I started working on my computer. Bleh. My office REEKED of cat piss. Seriously, my eyes were (are still) burning.

So let me back up. My cat is 14 and is like the best cat in the world. And I’m not even a cat person. She’s never done anything like this before. We used to have a dog, who we called The Criminal, because he would scratch holes in walls and urinate and defecate on anything I cared about. He was only about 10 inches tall, but he was the devil incarnate.

But the cat, she’s always been the angel. Until now.

Does that look like a cat who would want to wreck my day? I think not.

I smelled around near the door and she’d definitely peed there. I let her out all the time. She has a cat box. What gives?

Let me back up again. To yesterday, which was the best day ever. I met a friend for coffee. There was all this good energy and connection.

I got my hair cut by this magical woman named Megan who listened to my adventures in “The Writing Life” like she was genuinely interested.

We talked about making big life changes and how sometimes that means changing your friends and she suggested I blog about it. We bonded over both having a connection to Spokane, a.k.a. Spokompton. All the while she was blowing out my hair so that it was smoother than it’s ever been–like hair in a commercial.

I got all kinds of compliments at the reading on the hair. I couldn’t stop twirling its silkiness around my fingers, which  made me look creepy but in a Kristen Wiig sort of way, so it was okay.

My hair looked a lot like this.


Yesterday was so fabulous that today seems even worse just by comparison. I mean, yeah, the cat pee sucks. The dead baby mouse on my porch sucks. But cats are animals, right. They do that. Should I really take it personally?

Probably not, but when I think about yesterday, I realize I made one fatal mistake. And maybe I’m paying for it today.

Here’s what I did (confession time): I under-tipped the fabulous woman who cut my hair.

I didn’t mean to. I was talking and writing and sometimes that ends badly.

Also, I usually get my hair cut at some cheap place with the words “master” or “great” in the title. Yesterday, I was feeling special and wanted to raise my game.

But honestly, I wasn’t fully prepared for the cost of being special. So it was part shock and part bad multi-tasking that let to the horrible under-tipping event. Less than 10 percent. I know, right?

I’m sorry, okay? I will try to shift the karmic balance somehow. I’ll over tip next time.

Meanwhile, I’m going to find something called “Nature’s Miracle.” It’s supposed to help get the awful odor of cat piss out of my wood floor.

And I’m leaving my office for the day. Before I scratch my eyes out.

P.S. Febreze only makes it worse. Like a cat pee and chemical flower potpourri. Ungood.

16 thoughts on “A cat pee kind of day.

    • As long as SOME good could come of it. I’m glad it gave you a laugh. I can already feel the karmic balance shifting back into my favor. Thanks for the comment!! I was reading your blog today, btw, and really love your honesty about your experiences.

  1. Reading this was like going to a horror movie without any scary scenes. I kept waiting for the “kitty-is-dead” bomb, but it never came. Good twist.
    Nature’s Miracle works. Sadly, I can attest to that.
    Also, tipping’s gotten out of control. Way to take one for the team. Don’t let karma know you’re scared.

    • Thanks, Kelly. Love your line, “Don’t let karma know you’re scared.” I’ll remember that and try to stay strong.

      P.S. Today WAS better. No horror. And my office smells good again.

    • Excellent suggestion, Sam. I have chemical residue in my eyes from spraying all the “smell-better” stuff around my house, and it’s a wonder the air freshening candles didn’t burn my house down.

  2. While I want to believe that I have given you the best hairgasms you’ll ever have, I am thrilled that you found an awesome hair girl. I know its hard for you. So, 2 things: 1. She may have been cool with the tip if she had a nice time with you. Honestly – sometimes you “bond” with a client and the money is secondary (at least for me). 2. If you can’t shake the guilt/bad karma, I would suggest leaving a card for her at the desk explaining the situation and the rest of the tip. Trust me – you will make her day and get preferential treatment in the future. (Yes, sometimes we play favorites.)

    • Don’t worry, Bridget. If you lived closer, I’d definitely beg you to blow my hair. Out, I mean. Blow it out.

      I like your advice and WOULD like to leave her a card. Ironically, she wanted me to email her my blog address, so if/when I do, she may read this post. In a way, I hope she does. It’s become a bit of an homage to her. That’s at least flattering, right? I guess it would have been better if I’d posted her name and the salon name. Advertising, you know. But I do like your card idea.

  3. I meant to respond to this a couple days ago but my computer crashed and then I got distracted…Anyway… I hope your office is a more pleasant place to be now! Baking soda/borax might also work very well.
    I so get the up/down of perfect day/sucky day (we even have an expression for it in Arabic “yom ‘asl yom basl” which literally (ok, not quite literally) means “one day, ten out of ten, the next day, crying onion tears” and the karmic implications. But reading the post and the comments too, this sounds like the germ of a lovely relationship with your hair-stylist.
    I didn’t grow up with tipping, so I’m perennially clueless about it. Glad to know I’m not the only one, but I might not even have realized my faux pas, let alone concluded I merited cat pee from it.
    Don’t be offended, but one word this finicky editor couldn’t let by–your office _reeked_ of cat pee. It wreaked havoc on your day, for sure, but the stench has no dubya! 🙂 Again, please don’t mind me!

    • Oh Ela, I heart you! I had a feeling about wreaked, but wasn’t feeling like figuring out if it was right or not. Glad you caught that. I’ll edit.

      I didn’t grow up with much tipping, or thank you letter writing, for that matter. My social graces aren’t always up to snuff, but I try.

      Can’t wait to see you!!!!

      • Right back at you, my friend! Under-tipping and over-tipping–I just had my first ever treadmill adventure and I thought I was going to tip over or tip under at any moment–some very weird automatic incline things with my heart rate changing by a hundred at seeming random (or I should probably say, their read of my heart rate)… I thought of you and your hair-stylist as I gripped the bars of the beast…

  4. Hey, I WAS genuinely interested! You were a joy to have in my chair. Very interesting conversation and it’s always fun to connect with someone who understands the concept of “Spokompton”! Thank you for the kind words in your blog. I look forward to more conversations and shiny blow-outs!

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