The Best Bad Book Titles EVER!

My friend Carrie Mesrobian is getting ready to have her first novel published. With a real publisher and everything. The book is YA and is going to be rad and she’s gonna be famous and all that.

So yesterday, Carrie mentioned that she still doesn’t have a title for said forthcoming novel, which she’s just been calling Book #1.

She didn’t ask for suggestions.

BUT being the good friend and helper that I am, I thought I’d send her a list of possibilities.

I don’t know in detail what her novel’s about, but I didn’t let that stop me.

Here’s my list of suggested titles. Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments!

I just included this image because I like this bad book title.

The Impossible First Life of [Insert Character Name]
Private School for the Perfect Kids
Perfect School for the Private Kids
School for Kids with Perfect Privates
Linger, But Don’t Actually Stay
When I Killed My Parents
When My Parents Killed Me
When My Parents Killed My Friends
Bloodbath
I Had Sex, Have You? (It’s OK)
Bloom
Blackened
Backend
Her Dark Fabric
Sewing is Funner Than You Think
The Owl’s Wife
The Time Traveling Owl’s Wife
The Elegance of the Nutria
Don’t Look At Me
Don’t Look At Me, I’m Hideous
Deformity
Look Away
Don’t Stare At Me You Fucking Ass
Open Me
Pandora’s Assbox
Alice Is Dead
The Summer of 2069
The Insiders
The Imperfects
A Rant About Modern America
The Chambermaid’s Tale
The Chamber Pot’s Tale
Shit My Toilet Says

17 thoughts on “The Best Bad Book Titles EVER!

  1. Insolence
    The Truth About The Secrets
    Beautiful Sad Lying Death Plot
    Falling
    Falling Away From You
    Beneath The Shades of Grey (Blue/Blood/Amber)
    The Night Thief
    The Night Watcher’s Girl
    The Night Watcher’s Potion

  2. Outrunning Our Killers
    Gruesome
    The Downside of Being Beautiful and Popular
    Diary of a Unfunny Fat Girl
    Mysterious Ugly New Boy in Town
    Catastrophic
    Hush, Sleep No More
    Incandescent Castle
    The Vulvadynia
    Purganomicon

    • I love all of these SO MUCH, Carrie! Insubordinate is a fav. Also Détente, Confessions of a Slutty Boy (aka Everyman: The Teen Years), If I Wake Up Dead, and Vulvodynia (with one of two subtitles: My Vagina Hurts or Don’t Ride a Boys Bike, A Cautionary Tale)

      So. Good. All of them.

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